Marriage Spice

Everyone would agree that the relationship between a husband and a wife is complicated and confusing but nonetheless a most endearing and interesting one. If we look around us more often than not we’ll find aptly and strangely matched pairs that make up for a happy-to-lie but funny-to-observe family. It’s not rare to spot couples squabble cutely over who’s supposed to mind the kids, why was she completely cornered when he ran into his friends from work, why was that expensive dress bought for no reason, why he overslept and made them miss the movie and so on.

There’s a bunch of such funny anecdotes we’ve all encountered, seen and heard before. Adding one to them is this hilarious episode that I’m sharing with you here. It was something a friend had narrated to me sometime back. I still keep laughing at that poor thing after this, but I’m sure so will you.

It was late at night and He and She were discussing some very personal husband-wife stuff. He was trying to get his conservative wife to agree that they ought to rekindle the spark in their love life and was also trying to get her to conjure up ideas for the same.

He: Why don’t we try the role-playing thing? I’ve heard its fun. You know, doctor and nurse, fireman and victim, policeman and…

She: (Cutting him short) Oh please! It sounds so tacky. I’m not getting into that kind of thing. Let’s do some romantic stuff; some wine, cuddling in bed and watching some real hot movie.

He: (Looking bored) Ya ya, ok. (Excited again) What about role-reversal then? You the guy and me the girl. To begin with, I do your job and you do mine.

She: (Confused) Means?

He: (Eyes sparkling now) Means I splurge on lingerie for you and you go to the chemist for the…., you know.

She: (Offended) Are you kidding me? Why’d I do that?

He: (Urging) Hey hey. Isn’t it better that you go and choose yourself for a change? You ask so many questions, go find out for yourself!

She: (Slightly embarrassed) I’m not having this conversation. I’m going to sleep. Good night!

He gave up and went to sleep too. There was no more discussion on this matter until evening the next day. They went shopping in a mall and entered the FMCG section. She was oblivious to the fact that he had ventured out particularly in search of the ‘c’ thing. As soon as he spotted the items in display he dragged her there and prompted her to select. Slightly taken aback but interested nevertheless she amusingly started considering her options while he happily offered her assistance with the flavours, thickness, dots etc available. Both of them got so lost in each other and the rack that they didn’t notice that their increased decibel levels were attracting unsolicited attention from passers-by. One particular old Aunty even shrugged disapprovingly. She winced consciously; hastily pointed out the one she preferred and showed herself out from there. She was determined to leave that place as soon as possible.

Her forced adventure, sadly, did not end just there. While they were at the billing counter He excused himself to attend a phone call. She was rechecking her purchases when the packet in question slipped from the shopping cart and landed in the middle of two young boys standing right behind here. One of them picked it up chivalrously (yeah right!) and handed it over with a straight face but a definite naughty spark in his eyes. She did not know where to look but somehow managed a nervous smile. She couldn’t believe how she had let him trick her into doing this. So much for a mere role-reversal!

In an era when women are very open about sex and their own sexuality buying condoms should not be such a big deal. This particular one though is very shy by nature and quite obviously was very scandalized by this incident. It took a lot for He to get her to terms with this. Now, thankfully, she does find the humour in it and waves it off as something nonchalant. Marriage makes people see and do unimaginable things, isn’t it?

This is my first post on N-zine and my first attempt in following the ‘LOL’ theme for this month. Brickbats and bouquets are welcome and expected in abundance! :)

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An Article by Varsha who blogs at Food For Thought.